Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Active Waiting

Sometimes in life, whether we want to or not, we must wait. At the moment, I'm waiting for my mother to drive me home for spring break, waiting for my boyfriend to call and wondering if I'll actually get to see him sometime this decade, and waiting to see what my life will like in the next month, year, etc.... Sometimes things are out of our hands, and we have to take what control we have left and make the most of things the way they are. I don't like it - waiting makes me a little nuts - but it happens. At the moment I'm filling my waiting time writing this piece for the few lovely people who read this, but mostly for myself, as I'm sure most bloggers do. I'm also listening to the sweet sounds of Brenda Dayne's Cast-On podcast, and in a bit I'll get back to the packing I so dread.
Waiting is the worst waste of time in the world, if you let it be. Having had plenty of time to myself this weekend, alone with my yarn and my Klaus (yes, my viola has a name), and all my gnawing thoughts, I have learned to defeat the monotony of waiting. Waiting for plans that wouldn't come through, waiting for things that (seriously?) would actually happen, waiting for the J.S. Bach "St. Matthew's Passion" to end already (why does it take FOUR HOURS to sing about Jesus dying???), waiting to see what I would accomplish over the weekend, and always in the back of my mind, the endless waiting for the big picture.
Waiting begets wondering. Will my Etsy store take off? Will the play that is about to eat my soul for the rest of the semester come together? Will I have a decent career as a knitwear designer/viola rock-star/alpaca farmer? I don't know. I am not the psychic sandwich lady from the Late Show, but I also can't intuit the future, the sandwich Rupert Gee made, or even the present, as it pertains to the other people I have to depend on sometimes, but I'm not sitting around waiting for the answers. I'm making my own, as I do with my music, and yarn, and whatever else I need to defeat the waiting. Mom and the bf and the big picture can take their dear sweet time to get to me, and I will not be waiting. I will be making things, and making things happen for me.


That said, I've had a very productive weekend to kick off my spring break. StrickenKnits.etsy.com is inching closer to existence every day, as I've spent a decent handful of hours hunched over my laptop at the coffee house typing up patterns that I wrote ages ago, and hoping against hope that people will love them, and buy them, and make them, and post them all over the blogs and the ravelry.
Since my last post (holy hell, that was a long time ago!), I have learned how to spin!!! I have a wonderful drop-spindle, lovingly crafted by ford4him on Etsy, which is emblazoned with my alias, Stricken. It is the best toy ever. Here's my first hand-spun:
Isn't it precious?! I made a lacy head-scarf sort of thing with it, which I have somehow neglected to take photos of... coming soon! It is awesome, and makes me wish I had dreads to wrap up in it. Speaking of dreads...
I invented a super hero. By night, I am (dun dun DUHNNNN!), The Knitter, wielding my Needles of Justice to warm the chilly, and shank villains with my pointy sticks.
This new weirdness of mine came about out of need for a costume for one of our lovely theater-people theme parties that always serve to brighten my mid-semester gloom. I was inspired by the infamous MizV, of Lime and Violet legend. I love me that podcast sumthin awful.

I hope to post more later in the week, but if you've seen my blog, you know this is unlikely. Nevertheless, I persist in my mission of active waiting, doing as much as possible while I wait for school to come back next week and kick my butt, fueled by obscene amounts of coffee and drowning in fiber, which is by far the best way to drown.

May you never wait in vain,

1 comment:

Kofi Martin said...

I want more writing from you.